Speechless

I know, the idea is writing a post when you have nothing to say is counter-intuitive at best and downright stupid at worst, but something needs to be said. I just don't know what. We found out this morning that Yao is going to miss most if not all of next season and maybe even more after that. And this comes on the tail end of what has to be one of the most depressing weeks man has had to withstand in recent memory. I'm not comparing Yao's injured foot to the death of Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. Screw it, that's exactly what I'm doing. It may seem disrespectful or unsentimental or whatever else you want to say about it, but Yao's career ending means just as much to me as any of the other events that have transpired this week. And yes, there are some problems that need to be talked about, some ailments that can be cured by discussion, but this isn't one of them. This isn't something that's going to be changing anytime soon. We now know for sure what we've feared for the past five years: Yao's feet can't take his lifestyle. They can't take his size. They can't take the pounding he gets every year, ever day. Sooner or later, this was bound to happen. We're just unlucky enough that it was sooner. We can sit here and complain about why one of the most talented 7 footers ever can't get on the floor while someone like Dwight Howard, with no real discernible offensive skills other thank dunking the ball, has missed less than 20 games his whole career. We can spend all day wondering, like we have so many times before, how good we could have been if Yao and Mcgrady had just been healthy together once. But, at the end of the day, none of that is going to change the reality that we're going to have to eventually face. The reality that the face of our organization, maybe even of the entire city, is most likely very, very close to being finished with the game of basketball. So at some point, we'll have a real post up, explaining what this means to us andthanking Yao if his career is actually over, but now's not the time for that. Right now we hope that by some miracle the news is wrong and that Yao's going to be back next year, hobbling around and fading to the baseline like he always has, as unlikely as it may be. Right now, this is all we have to say. Get well soon Yao.

Hedo 2.0

Since the Magic have just traded for Vince Carter, I feel obliged to revisit the idea of trying to sign Hedo Turkoglu. And if you think I'm just using this Carter deal as an excuse to talk about Hedo, you know me too well. The Magic's total salary, with Vince Carter and Ryan Anderson included, is at about 68 million dollars for the 2009-10 season, with the luxury tax line being about 69 million dollars next year. In other words, they're going to be paying Hedo virtually twice as much as his actual contract, as every dollar over the luxury tax means another dollar spent. For example, if Hedo signed a deal for 8 million dollars, it would put the Magic roughly 7 million dollars over the luxury tax, which means they'd have to pay 7 million extra dollars. So essentially, Hedo's contract would cost them 15 million dollars next season. And as much as I love Hedo, he is by no means a 15 million dollar player. Not at this age. Not in this economy. Which is why I believe the Magic are going to let him walk. They're going to try and resign Gortat, fill out the rest of their roster with minimum salaries and hope that they'll be able to compete in the Eastern Conference. And they will be.

Since we're on the topic, I'd like to quickly touch on the Carter trade. Of course it's an upgrade for the Magic. It's tough to lose Courtney Lee, but Ryan Anderson is no slouch. He's a power forward who can shoot the three, which mean's he'll thrive in the Magic's offensive system. And as for basically replacing Turkoglu with Carter, as much as I love Turkoglu, he's no Vince Carter. Turkoglu averaged 17-5-5 this year on 40 percent shooting while handling the ball on nearly every possession he was in the game for the Magic. Carter averaged 20-5-5 on 44 percent shooting even though Devin Harris had the ball in his hands for most of the game. Put Carter in Hedo's position with Hedo's role and he'll get you 23-6-6 with better percentages. And as for Hedo being a better shooter, that might have been true earlier on in their careers, but it's certainly not anymore. Over the last two years Carter's three point shooting has either been comparable or better than Hedo's, as last year he shot 40 percent from beyond the arc while Hedo only shot 35. Part of that is Carter's shot getting better as his athleticism slowly leaves him, but the main reason is the kind of threes that each takes. Carter has never had the luxury of waiting around at the three point line for a star to get him a wide open three, like Hedo had early in his career, Carter has always had to beat his man off the dribble and pull up for the three himself, which is significantly harder. Now, since teams are more aware of Hedo Turkoglu as a threat, he's not getting wide open threes anymore, thus the drop in shooting percentage. Carter, on the other hand, hasn't been the focus of an offense for quite some time now, as that burden belonged to Devin Harris and now to Dwight Howard. That means he'll get cleaner, better looks at the basket and it'll be reflected in his three point percentage. As good and as unique of a player as Hedo Turkoglu is, Vince Carter makes this team better. Losing Courtney Lee is probably the worst part of this deal, as he showed a lot of promise his rookie season, but Carter over Turkoglu is a no-brainer.

But back on point. If the Magic follow the path I just outlined for them, that would leave Hedo Turkoglu unsigned and up for grabs, which is where we step in. We have 55 million dollars on the books for next season, which gives is about 14 million dollars to spend before we have to pay the luxury tax. Assuming we give both Chase Budinger and Jermaine Taylor roster spots, it's safe to add on another million to our payroll. That still leaves us with 13 million dollars to spend on free agency, and that's where things get tricky. Von Wafer's going to get a bit of that money, something like 4 million dollars a year. He's probably worth a lot more, but there aren't too many buyers out there who are willing to spend a lot more. Thus, Von, too be perfectly blunt, is stuck with us. Which would leave us with 9 million dollars to spend. Our easiest option would be to resign Artest and move on with trying to trade Mcgrady. A more difficult and more potentially beneficial option would be to go after Turkoglu and offer him a contract comparable to any other offer that he's going to get along with giving him the chance to stay on a team contending for the championship.

As much as I love Ron and as much as I appreciate what he did for us this year, I think that if we have the chance to acquire Turkoglu we should take it. He gives us the fourth quarter scorer we've needed so badly and is an excellent three point shooter, which is essential to our offense. He's also a deft playmaker, which is an added bonus that's value isn't to be taken lightly when you consider Aaron Brooks' passing limitations. All in all I think that the Magic have inadvertently but consciously given other teams the option to make a run at Turkoglu, and I think we need to take advantage of that. When I suggested this before, it was a long-shot and really more of a daydream than an actual, viable option. Now, we have the opportunity to add a power forward with the passing ability of a point guard as well as a smooth outside shot and a knack for coming up big in the clutch, and we need make the most of it.

Draft Day

After an unpredictable and oddly entertaining NBA Draft, I've got a few thoughts I'd like to talk about. None of them involving Darko Milicic's trade to the New York Knicks.

First things first, I was at the Rockets Draft Party at the House of Blues. Joey Dorsey was there and I got him to sign my shirt, I caught a Rockets towel from the Power Dancers and I was interviewed by chron.com, which was probably the highlight of my night. Check for the video sometime tomorrow morning, there's some expert analysis in there from yours truly. Apparently Daryl Morey actually watches these videos so I got to throw my Pistons trade idea at him as well as beg him to somehow pull off the Amare trade. Now onto the actual draft.

What the hell were the Timberwolves doing? Apparently they've already sent Lawson to the Nuggets and are working on a deal with the Knicks for Rubio, but how necessary was it to take three point guards with your three picks in the first round? Were they just trying to screw with their fans? Are the Nuggets and Knicks really that desperate for Lawson and Rubio? Does anyone actually want any players on the Knicks roster anyways? What did the Timberwolves gain from drafting and trading Lawson and most likely Rubio instead of just drafting two other good players?

Since we're on the topic of Ty Lawson, Billy and I were discussing how we thought he'd be a good player if he was put on a good team. Well, he's on a good team. Now all that's left is the first half of that sentence, which is being a good player. I like him as an understudy to Chauncey and think he'll be ready to run the team in 2-3 years when Billups' deterioration really starts to pick up.

A little more on Ty Lawson. It's a little saddening to know that Lawson and UNC teammate Wayne Ellington won't stay together in the NBA. For the Timberwolves to reunite North Carolina's backcourt through the draft only to break it up again a few hours later was just cruel.

We just had three paragraphs centered around Ty Lawson. That should tell you all you need to know about this year's draft.

I called Indiana picking Tyler Hansbrough. I said that they would take the best available white guy to go along with Mike Dunleavy, Troy Murphy and Jeff Foster, and they took Hansbrough. I just love it when my thoroughly un-researched, unfounded and downright unintelligent guesses happen to be right by some random stroke of luck.

I was disappointed that the Rockets didn't trade up for a draft pick. After spending a week convincing myself we were going to get James Harden, I was actually a little surprised when we didn't. I knew we really had little to no shot of getting him, but I was still somehow expecting it to happen, if that makes any sense.

When the news that the Suns and Warriors were working on a deal that included Amare Stoudemire was announced at least half of the people in attendance booed. Now I'm just guessing here, but I think we really wanted Amare.

The Red Rowdies were present and had a full table to themselves, doing all sorts of rowdy, red activities. They look at lot more subdued in person. Go figure.

Brandon Jennings being brought in after he was originally not allowed inside the green room was one of the more entertaining moments of the night. The awkward introduction by Stern, the interview that was about four picks too late, Brandon Jennings not being there in the first place when he was almost an assured top-15 pick, all of it really meshed together into a high comedy moment.

We've gotten two second round draft picks so far: Jermaine Taylor and Sergio Llull. I'm not going to pretend that I know anything about either of them, but Taylor averaged 26 a game last year. And for some reason, Llull gives me Vasileios Spanoulis flashbacks. Which means I'm going to spend the next week and a half watching highlights of him and talking myself into him, only to have him never, you know, actually come and play for us for an extended amount of time.

A little side note here, if we get Amare, or Amar'e, he's going to have to remove that apostrophe from his name. It's a little ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as taking three point guards in the first round.

And so it begins. Welcome to Houston, "Spanish Jordan." And let's not forget our other draft pick.

And we just bought Chase Budinger. Normally, I'd be doubtful that any championship building plan would be centered around buying three second round draft picks, but with Morey, anything's possible. And here are your Budinger highlights.

I'm starting to realize that in order for Budinger to become a regular contributor, he's going to need a roster spot. James White's roster spot. I'm torn. I love "Flight," but Budinger has a lot of potential and is already a more well-rounded player. Sorry James, Chase gets the rotation spot and the minutes. I'm going to go cry in a corner now.

How the hell did the Heat wind up with the last pick in the NBA Draft? They've had nothing remotely close to the best record in the NBA. It's the little things like this that confuse me. And the big things. Like the Timberwolves drafting three point guards in the first round. Whoops, I think I might have used that one a few times already. To hell with it, it needs to be said more than once.

Blake Griffin's brother, Taylor Griffin, was also in this draft. Too bad nobody said a word about him. In the irony of ironies, the Suns selected Griffin. In case you forgot, the Suns also have Robin Lopez. Or, as I like to call him, Not Brook Lopez. That's the second year in a row in which they've gotten the wrong brother. One has to sympathize.

And congratulations to Robert Dozier, the last pick in the 2009 NBA Draft. In three years you will either be averaging 35 a game for a D-League team, working at a local 7/11 or actually playing an important role on an NBA team. But probably not that last one. Good luck to you. And to all the other 59 draft picks. But mostly just our three. And to you, Dozier, always to you.

I'm ordering a Robert Horry jersey t-shirt. Just because. Anyone know where I can get one?

My favorite part of the draft has to be Adam Silver relieving David Stern somewhere around the start of the second round. Does Stern get tired? Does he get bored? How hard can it be to walk up to a podium and say fourteen words 60 times? How necessary is Silver coming in to replace Stern? It baffles me almost as much as the Timberwolves taking three point guards in the first round. Alright I'm done. I really am.

Before we finish off, I'd like to point out that someone actually stepped on Chase Budinger's face. Whoever this Aubrey Coleman fellow is, I don't like him. That's our Chase, you can't do that to him.

And with that, it looks like we're done. The 2009 NBA Draft was certainly an eventful one, even though it will probably be better remembered for the huge deals that were made in the days preceding it. I was looking forward to the Rockets grabbing a mid-first round pick, but I'll settle for Llull and Taylor. And Budinger, of course. Well not really, but I'm too busy hoping/praying for Amare (Amar'e) that it doesn't really matter to me.

Amare Stoudamire?

According to the same source that disclosed Terry Porter was about to be fired as Suns coach, the Rockets are leaning toward swapping Tracy McGrady's expiring $22M contract, Carl Landry and Aaron Brooks for Leandro Barbosa and Amare Stoudemire, who owns an escape clause after next season and is demanding an extension this summer to waive it.
(New York Post)

Not to boast or anything, but we predicted this trade here.

I would pretty much be happy with any trade that involves TMAC, but this is great because we get a dominant player that is still young. Amare could contribute for 7-8 more years if we resign him. He also has the ability to play center and could shift their when Yao suffers his next inevitable injury or misses time for his current injury.

More About Yao's Feet

Evidently someone up there isn't done tormenting us. Yao's foot isn't healing the way it should be. I was hoping this would be, like so many of Yao's other season-ending or season-ruining injuries, something that would be over and done with by the start of the new season. But apparently, that might not be the case. He's out "indefinitely" right now and they don't even have a timetable for him to return to basketball activities, let alone be able to play in NBA basketball games. So, if you couldn't guess, this is bad. Very, very, very bad. As in possibly career-ruining bad. As in if that happens, franchise-crippling bad. As in, all of those ideas we've been pitching around are utterly worthless if Great Wall isn't dominating the paint for us next year. There's no point in having the best supporting cast in the NBA if we're without the best center in the NBA. But I'm (hopefully) getting ahead of myself. All we know as of now is that Yao's foot is going to take a little longer to heal. Nothing more, nothing less. The rest is all just speculation on my part. Frightening, disconcerting and downright depressing speculation. Get well soon, Yao.

Spurs Get Jefferson, Panic Ensues (And Other Draft Week Chaos)

Early today on Sportscenter, I saw that the Spurs had acquired Richard Jefferson from the Bucks for the expiring contracts of Bruce Bowen, Fabricio Oberto and Kurt Thomas. And, if I'm not mistaken, I think they also threw in a 25 dollar gift card to Best Buy. You know, just to sweeten the deal. This was clearly a financial move by the Bucks, as it gives them cap space for the free agent apocolypse that is the summer of 2010 as well as to resign players this year. This deal affects us in two ways. The obvious one is that our hopes for a wide-open Southwest Division next year were just shot. The second, more sneaky way it affects us is that now the Bucks have enough cap space to resign Ramon Sessions. Who, if you didn't know, is very, very, very good. So good that if we could somehow swap Brooks for Sessions straight up I'd do it in less time than it takes for Mcgrady to hurt something.

In other news, Chad Ford says that we've offered Mcgrady and Landry to the Wizards for their 5th pick. As you can see, I'm grabbing onto anything that gets us a chance at landing James Harden. Anything. And that includes eight word sentences in 3,000 words of rumors that will most likely never happen.

And since we're tossing out situations that'd never happen, I have a few guys I'd like to get this offseason. I'd love Zaza Pachulia as a backup center. I want a point guard, and if Sessions is unavailable, I wouldn't mind making a run at Bibby. Or, as unlikely as it may be, Rajon Rondo, since the Celtics seem to be shopping him. Why not throw Mcgrady and Brooks at them and see if we can land Rondo? I also wouldn't mind Mike Miller. After suffering through a year in Minnesota, also known as "Basketball Hell" and "The Place That Slowly Sucked Away Kevin Garnett's Will To Live," people have seemingly forgotten how good Miller is. If we could get him relatively cheap I'd take him over Wafer and probably even Artest. And, lastly, at least for now, Chris Bosh. I know it's highly unlikely, but we do know he hates it in Toronto. Instead of risking losing him for nothing, why wouldn't Toronto take Mcgrady's expiring contract, which would still give them money to throw around in 2010 and an actual building block for Bosh?

I'd also like Paul Millsap. If we can get him for the mid-level exception there's no need to chase after someone like Pachulia. I know, he deserves and is going to want a lot more than the (around) 5.8 million that is the mid-level, so we don't have much of a shot at getting him unless we choose not to resign Ron, but if he doesn't know how much he's worth, there's no reason we should tell him.

And there goes my hopes for getting Mike Miller. The Wizards are sending off their 5th pick along with a group of bad contracts for Mike Miller and Randy Foye. I love this deal for both teams. The Wizards get Mike Miller, who, in case you haven't heard from me already, is very, very, very good. They also get Randy Foye, and even though I don't know how he's going to coexist with Arenas, he's still a talented player that you don't want to pass up on. The Timberwolves now have the 5th and 6th pick in the draft as well as the 18th pick, which means they could be bringing in two difference makers and another solid rotation player to build around Kevin Love and Al Jefferson. Merits for everyone. Except us. I really, really wanted Mike Miller. Damn.

(Trading for the fifth pick was the most plausible way we could get into the top of the draft. Now, the T'wolves have ruined that possibility. -Billy)

So in one move the Timberwolves took away two of our best and options for find a wing player to replace Mcgrady: James Harden through the draft and Mike Miller. Damn you, David Kahn, damn you. But in other news the Hawks have just traded for Jamal Crawford and his huge contract, meaning that they won't have as much money to resign Bibby. Which means we could throw the midlevel at him just for the hell of it and hope he signs with us. And since we're sort of on the topic of Golden State, apparently Anthony Randolph just grew an inch and added 20 pounds over the offseason. We're all screwed.

Also, as promised, here's the immediate needs for the Rockets, courtesy of Hoops World. And come to the Rockets NBA Draft Party Thursday night at the House of Blues, we should be there.

Or we could trade Mcgrady's expiring contract for Rip Hamilton and sign Rasheed Wallace to the mid-level exception. Or trade Mcgrady and whatever other semi-expendable pieces the Pistons want for Hamilton and Rasheed in a sign and trade. Whatever it takes to get Rip and 'Sheed here and T-Mac all the way over there.

Billy posted about this, but we might get Amare and Barbosa for Mcgrady, Brooks and Landry. We could bring Barbosa off the bench and use him as a Manu Ginobili type player, allowing him to make the plays at the ends of games and have a starting five of Lowry (a better pure point guard than Brooks), Von Wafer, Artest, Amare and Yao. With Battier, Scola, Barbosa and White coming off the bench. That's a very, very solid rotation.

The Orlando Magic have agreed on a trade with the New Jersey Nets that will send Vince Carter to the Magic. The kicker is that Rafer Alston is the centerpiece of the trade. So we indirectly helped the Magic get a starting five of Nelson, Carter, Turkoglu, Lewis and Howard. That's the whole damned Eastern Conference All-Star Team. Looks like Cleveland still isn't going to be winning the East anytime soon.

That's all for now, but I'll keep adding paragraphs and thoughts to this as the days progress and more rumors/random ideas I think of start popping up.

Lottery Bound!

Thanks to a reliable source (a friend of mine with an ample amount of interest, and an even more ample amount of time) I was able to find this little tidbit. Search for the Rockets. If you're too lazy or aren't as blessed with your leisure time as we are, it says that the Rockets are shopping Carl Landry for a lottery pick. I'm all for it if it gives us a shot at landing James Harden. Or even DeMar DeRozan. And that's not just because he has four capital letters in his name. Or, as unlikely as it is, Ricky Rubio. A top 6 pick and I'm saying goodbye to Landry, anything less and I'll pass. Of course, the decision doesn't lie with me, so this paragraph was essentially pointless.

Ron's Adventure

According to various, semi-reliable sources, Ron Artest crashed a Transformers party in order to meet Megan Fox. Not that that's weird, I'd do far, far worse things to meet Mrs. Fox. What bothers me is his hat. If I'm not mistaken, that's a Detroit Tigers hat. There are talks about Ron-Ron signing with the Pistons. I can put two and two together. Or, in this case, one and one. Am I overreacting? Maybe. But there's still the chance Artest leaves for Detroit. Which means we would lose a proven, talented player. Which is, if you were wondering, actually the exact opposite of what we're trying to do. So that would be bad.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Hell no. No.

A Few Links

Just to keep you going during the offseason

-Billy said we need to trade T-Mac. I said we need to trade T-Mac. The Rockets are trying to trade T-Mac. I'm glad we're all on the same page.

-We're still in win now mode. Fortunately for us, there are some less-than-intelligent GM's in the NBA. Possibly even more fortunately for us, Daryl Morey isn't one of them. Good things happen when your management is smarter than everyone else's.

-James White, inspired by Trevor Ariza's stellar play in the postseason, is hard at work trying to become a contributor on the Rockets next year.

-More talk about trading Mcgrady.

-Hoops World is doing an immediate needs series for each team. We're not on there yet, but we should be by either Monday or Tuesday. Keep checking. I'll probably post a link to our actual article when it comes out, this is just a heads up.

-It's good to know Yao's enjoying his summer.

-Nothing to do with the Rockets, especially since we don't have a draft pick, but still a beautiful, beautiful thing.

-Hopefully not.

-Another Mcgrady rumor, but one that I don't like. Why the hell would we do this again?

-We're nearing the NBA Draft so there's probably somewher around 4,327 mock drafts available for you to read if you want to find them, but if you're really, really lazy, this one's just a click away. And the first five picks of this one. And this one. Let's try to maintain a hold on things until next Thursday.

That's all for now, keep checking back when you're bored. And I mean really, really bored.

Yao Demands Freedom

Well not quite. But he took the first step. Yao suggested that the Chinese national team should focus on finding and developing younger players, or, in other words, leave him the hell alone. We all know that Yao cares too much about China and means too much to the country to demand a break from his national team duties, but this is a good start for the Great Wall. For years we've complained that playing for China in the summers has been wearing down on Yao, and, most importantly, those precious feet, but nobody's been able to do anything about it. Not Yao, because he's too loyal, and not anyone else, because we don't want to be taken from our homes at 2 A.M. by seven men in black masks.

But in all seriousness, I'm glad that Yao is finally starting to find ways to avoid or at least cut back on his playing for China. My favorite quote of the article is when he says "I've seen many players still playing in the national team at the age of 30. But it was different that they did not play in a league as intense as the one I do," or in other words, "If I keep playing for you there's a good chance my left foot is going to fall off."

I know, it's not like Yao is going to be refusing to play for China anytime soon. He means too much to the country to do so, and we understood the circumstances when we drafted him. That doesn't mean it's any less painful to wonder if rest in the offseason would have helped every time he goes down with an injury. But as of now, I'm happy that Yao's going to have a full summer of rest to get ready for next year, and hopefully this is the first step towards many more summers of recuperation for him.

Rockets Offseason Wishlist

With the NBA Finals now complete and the hated Lakers reigning as champions (don't worry, I still hate all the Lakers), the NBA has entered into the purgatory known as the Offseason. The Rockets came close to beating the Lakers in Round 2, but we now need to improve the roster so we can make a deeper run in the 2010 post-season. The Rockets are at the salary cap and have almost no flexibility because of T-MAC's gargantuan contract, but we can use several NBA rules to resign our own players and sign free agents.

Here is a quick overview of the Rockets offseason issues. We have four players who will be unrestricted free-agents: Ron Artest, Von Wafer, Dikembe Mutombo, and Brian Cook. We don't have a first or second round draft pick because of the Ron Artest and Steve Francis trades. We have 54.878 million dollars already committed for next year's salaries. While the official NBA salary cap has yet to be announced, it is expected to decrease from this year's cap of 58.68 million to a number closer to 55 million. This would leave the Rockets with a negligible amount of cap space. However, only 5 teams are expected to have cap room to spend: Portland, Oklahoma City, Memphis, Indiana, and Miami, so there shouldn't be much competition in free agency.

With all of this in mind, here is the Rockets Offseason Wishlist:

1.) Resign Ron Artest: Ron-Ron added the toughness we needed to make it out of the first round and his defense was invaluable. Sure, he jacks up a lot of awful shots, but he makes enough to be a good offensive player. Ron Artest's "Bird Rights" (a player who plays for one team for three or more seasons, in this case Sacramento, has Bird Rights and his team can go over the salary cap to resign him) were traded with him, so we can sign him to a deal up to the max and for as long as 6 years. He won't get a contract that long, but we should reward him with 10-12 million a year for 3-4 years. No other NBA team will be willing to make an offer like this, so Ron-Ron should be a Rocket if he stays in America.

2.) Resign Von Wafer: Von was a surprise contributor to the team and showed an amazing ability to score in bunches. Unless you think Brent Barry and James "Flight" White are ready to be our only back up wings, we need to resign Von. He has a great haircut, a sweet shooting stroke, and gives our bench a potent scorer. We can resign him to an approximately 1 million dollar a year deal or use the mid-level exception to sign him for up to 5.59 million. It is more likely that he accepts the later.


Ron and Von developed great chemistry last year and we need them back

3.) Buy a Late First Round Pick or Trade into the Draft: With the economy in the toilet, a lot of teams will probably be willing to sell late first round picks/early second round picks to get a little extra cash. Les Alexander is dedicated to winning, so I predict he will be willing to spend a little money to improve the team. Its always good to add promising young players that can contribute for years to come, so we should try our hardest to get into the draft.

4.) Trade TMAC: You can read the article on possible T-Mac trades here.

5.) Bring Back Novak: We need to rescue Steve from basketball hell and bring him back to Houston where he can contribute. He proved this year that he can be a legitimate NBA rotation member and is vastly superior to "Former Slam Dunk Champion" Brent Barry. I might be a little biased, but I think the Rockets would have won the title if Novak was still on the team. He is a free agent and we should do whatever it takes to get him back to his rightful team.


Sharpshootin' Steve Novak can lead an NBA team to a Championship

If we get these five things done, you can pencil the Rockets in as 2010 NBA Champs.

So It Ends

So, here we are. The NBA season has come to an end. A new champion has been crowned. The slew of awkward interactions and hugs between people who most likely have never spoken with one another has come and gone. Phil Jackson's bizarre "X" hat with Chinese characters on it was unveiled for the world's enjoyment/horror. (I understand the "X" is for 10 championships, but I'm just wondering how long ago they made the hat. Is it from 2004? Have they just been holding it until he finally won his 10th championship? Or was it made this year? How much of a role did he have in designing the hat? Did he know that it existed before they won? Wouldn't that have just put even more pressure on him to win? What would they have done with it if the Lakers had lost? Two months from now would some poor Nigerian be wearing a Phil Jackson celebratory hat? I need answers.) Questions about Phil Jackson's headgear aside, we've got some recapping to do.

First things first, I'd like to (admittedly begrudgingly) congratulate the Lakers. You know, giving credit where credit is due, not being a sore loser, things like that. They won an NBA Championship. Something only 14 teams have done before, something they've done for the 15th time. That's a hell of an accomplishment, no matter how hated they might be for it. As much as I've berated and ridiculed the Lakers this season, seeing the pure emotion coming from team as the clock hit the triple zeroes was special. The unbridled joy that comes from working through the ups, downs and turbulence of everything in between of an NBA season only to end up on top reminded of why I watch basketball, even if it was coming from some of my least favorite living creatures on the planet. And I know, the same reaction comes from every team in every sport after they win, and it's usually even more fevered and excited than the Lakers' celebration, but it's still always a spectacle to see. So without any more smoke-blowing, I'll run through a few personalized congratulatory paragraphs before getting to my conciliatory (what a word) speech for the Magic.

Kobe Bryant-Go to hell. Take your trophy, under-bite-face and inhuman shots and go to hell. Leave Vanessa here though. But in all seriousness, Kobe Bryant deserves this. He is probably one of the five most hated people in the world, endlessly yells at and belittles his teammates and is most likely impossible to play with, but he deserves it. Not just the hate, but the championship as well. I know how every single media member has written about how much he wanted this title, but there's a reason for that. It's true. From his newly created angry wolf-man face to his performances on the court, everything about Kobe this postseason has screamed desperation. Desperation to finally get that 330 pound apostrophe-named monkey off of his back. Desperation to cement his legacy as one of the best players ever. Desperation to take a team that is actually his own to the top of the mountain. And it was never more evident than the end of Game 5, when he started jumping up and down with his hands in the air with a few seconds left and then started doing the Jordan Fist Pump While Jumping Extremely High over and over again. And of course when he nearly cried when being interviewed after receiving the Finals MVP trophy. Kobe Bryant wanted this championship. More than that, he needed it. He needed to validate himself. He needed to prove to himself that he could do it. He needed to be able to tell Shaq just exactly how his ass tastes. And he did it. Congratulations Kobe. Now get the hell out of my life for the next four months. Please. Don't ask questions, just do it. Disappear to some island and enjoy this, but more importantly, don't force me to see you until training camp.


Pau Gasol-One of the few Lakers that I'm actually happy for. After taking nonstop criticism since last summer for being "soft" when he never really deserved it, Pau showed us why he's the second best center in the NBA. Sorry Dwight, but this Finals demonstrated to us that you're not quite there yet. Pau's willingness to guard virtually anyone, his tenacious, relentless covering of Dwight Howard and his typically brilliant offense in the final five games of the season cemented his status as anything but "soft". He's versatile, extremely talented and a whole hell of a lot more fiery than anyone could have guessed, and he deserves this championship as much as anyone on the Lakers.

Lamar Odom-A man whose play was inconsistent enough that a doctor wrote an article theorizing that his affection for candy was the reason why he seemingly randomly disappeared in games. A man whose infant son died a few years ago. A man who for so long had physical gifts that in no way matched his desire or focus to play basketball. A man who, after Pau and Kobe, took the most criticism for the Lakers' loss to the Celtics last year. And deservedly so. But he, like nearly every other Laker, redeemed himself this year. In the Finals he was involved, interested, and, probably most importantly, effective. He showed us that somewhere in that immensely talented 6-11 frame is an actual beating heart pumping blood through a living, breathing human being. A shocking revelation, if you ask me, but a well deserved championship for the "Candyman."

Phil Jackson-Yes, he had Michael and Scottie, Shaq and Kobe, and Kobe and Pau/Lamar/injuries to Yao, Mcgrady, Ginobili, Nelson and Garnett. You know what else he has? 10 NBA Championships. As a coach. That's 10 more than me and good enough for the most in NBA history. Greatest coach of all time? Luckiest coach of all time? Does anyone really give a damn?

Derek Fisher-For all my jokes about you being half-dead, utterly useless and a disgrace to the good people of Little Rock, Arkansas (that last one's new), you came through when it mattered the most. After sleepwalking through nearly the entire length of the playoffs, you were brought back to life in Game 4 and hit the two biggest shots of the NBA season. Now you'll get to slack through another full year without being benched or called out by your teammates. Congratulations. Not just on the championship, but on buying yourself an extension on your career. Have fun getting burned by Aaron Brooks, Chris Paul and Deron Williams next season.

Sasha Vujacic-Cheer up Machine. I know you didn't have the ideal series. I know you didn't score in the NBA Finals. I know you probably hurt the Lakers more than you helped them. But you're still my favorite Laker. Keep your head up, one day you'll be a star. In hindsight, probably not. You lack a variety of fundamental basketball skills necessary to be a successful NBA player. But at least you're a winner. And not Sun Yue.

And finally, to the Lakers team as a whole. You took shots all year for not being focused, for being too soft, for not showing up every night and for being a bunch of arrogant pricks who were hated by nearly every one outside of Los Angeles, but you still ended up winners. It probably didn't happen the exact way you wanted it to, but, it usually never does. And, like they say, the ends justify the means. And your means have been justified. You went from the peak of peaks in 2000-2002 down to the bottom of the league and eventually and into basketball hell for a few years by making the playoffs consistently but never contending, and lost last season in the Finals. And now, you're here again. The top of the mountain, the end of the road, whatever you want to call it. You're NBA Champions.

But here's where the real work begins. Now you have to go and do it again. Teams will come at you harder, contenders will be healthier and you'll still have to find the fire and will to compete every night. Do that, and you make the leap from champion to dynasty, from great to legendary. So enjoy these next few months, because come November, the grind starts all over again.

And if you think I'm being nicer than usual to the Lakers, you're right. As much as I hate to say it, I'm starting to respect this team. Because no matter how hard it is to like them, you can't deny that they have been through a lot. And before you pounce on me, remember the struggle that is Lamar Odom's life, Derek Fisher's daughter and of course, Kobe's rape-trial that still (understandably and deservedly so) haunts him to this day. I'm not supporting Kobe, but even the most stubborn Laker-hater will admit that he's been through hell, even if he brought it on himself.

So yes, in a twisted, mind-boggling way that even I don't fully understand, I'm happy for the Lakers. Yes, I'd rather be saying this about 29 other NBA teams, but I'm not sure those 29 other NBA teams merit having this said about them. Well, at least 28 of them. If anyone's been through more than the Lakers, it's the Rockets. But the middle of a paragraph in the middle of an article is no place for that. That deserves it's own, very, very lengthy post. And if you think I'm saying all of this about the Lakers so that I can generate some good karma for the Rockets next year, you're spot on. Partially, at least. But to make a long, tedious story short, be proud, Los Angeles. You're champions.


Kobe made some questionable facial expressions during the Finals


And, to be cliché, for every winner, we must have a loser. Unfortunately, the loser this year was the Orlando Magic. A very good team. A great team actually. A few inches either way and they would have been up 3-1 in this series instead of down. If Courtney Lee had hit a difficult layup (something he does frequently) and Fisher hadn't made a 3 (hardly a stretch, he had missed 5 times in 5 tries up to that point) this would have been a very different series. But he didn't, he did, and it wasn't. Still, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.

Orlando, you went at least a round farther than most people had you going. You lost to an extremely talented, hungry and more experienced team. You beat the team with the best record and best player in basketball during the regular season. And you did all of this without your All-Star point guard. (And on the bright side, you won a game this time. That's one more than you did against us. At this rate, you'll win a championship in your third Finals appearance after this. So if you get to one every 15 years, you'll be champions in 45 years. Congratulations to the Orlando Magic, your 2054 NBA Champions. Book it.)

But I'll stop being an ass for a few sentences. If may ask one thing of you, it's this: remember this feeling. Especially you, Dwight. Remember how it feels to be a loser after getting this far. Remember the pain, spend nights staying up thinking about it, let it eat away at you. You're 23, you'll get a title soon enough. But not without the right amount of desire. And if this doesn't give you the fire needed to win the last game of the NBA season, then nothing will. So, if you've learned nothing else from this series (And you should have learned a lot. Mainly, Dwight, that you need to developed at least three more reliable moves in the paint. Which would bring your total to three. But that's a topic for another day.) learn how it feels to be a loser. It happened to the guys you just lost to last year, and as you can see, things worked out pretty well for them. So keep all of these emotions with you. Not just for next year or until you win a championship, but for your whole career. Let it push you to get better. Remember that a little passion goes a long way in this league. Keep at it, and soon you'll be on the other side of this result, celebrating with Bill Russell and popping champagne the way Kobe and company are right now.

Remember that to get to the top, you have to start from the bottom. You have to stumble along the way. You have to be knocked down in order to be able to get back up. You've got the falling down part mastered, now it's time to see if you can rise up after it. Have a restless, sleepless, frustrating four months. Some day, it'll all be worth it.

And finally, congratulations to the Houston Rockets. Not only did we take the Lakers to more games than any other team did, we also were, in my opinion, the main reason for their victory. Without our series, they never would have realized that they had to bring their best effort every single game in order to win. You're welcome, L.A. Send us a few of those championship rings and we'll call it even.

Which brings us to the end. 30 teams, 82 games and then 16 more teams each trying to win 16 more games. A lot of basketball, a lot of moments to remember. There was Wade's resurgence (Yes Dwyane, it's your house), Lebron's dominance, Kobe's elbows and some great commercials. We had a spirited run and won 1-3 more games against the Lakers than most people expected us to and were their toughest out in the postseason. And, most importantly, we made it past the first round. Suck it, Tracy.

But now we enter the long dark that is the NBA offseason. Sure, we'll have the draft, and yes, hopefully there will be some blockbuster trades or free agent signings, but for the most part, we're on our own now. Completely on our own, trying to keep it together for four months before basketball starts once again. Check back here for updates on the Rockets, ideas and propositions from two of the finest basketball minds you'll ever come across (Yes, I'm talking about myself and Billy. Try not to laugh) and if some groundbreaking, earth-shattering, other-adjective-that-describes-our-planet being-torn-apart event happens in the NBA. It's been a fun postseason, and we'll be back stronger than ever next year. Which really isn't saying much, but still. Enjoy the summer. And, just for the hell of it, go Rockets.

Turkish Delight

A friend suggested this to me and I like the idea: we should trade for Hedo. Over the last two years he's shown us how special of a talent he is, and our fourth quarter problems would be solved. Because, like I've said so many times before on this forum, Hedo has no problem taking big shots. It would most likely have to be sign-and-trade, as Hedo wants to opt out of his contract this summer. So the Magic resign him and we trade for him. Or we move like hell to clear cap space for him. But the main problem with all of this is that if the Magic can resign Hedo, there's no real reason as to why they would trade him when they just went to the Finals without their starting point guard. Unless they have some unexplainable desire for a Tracy Mcgrady comeback in Orlando. And speaking of the Finals, we'll have a recap up soon. After that, it's on to the NBA Draft and the usually pointless jumble of trade ideas that accompany the NBA season ending.

Rockets to Trade for a Top 5 Draft Pick?

Rumors have been circulating about the Rockets exploring the possibility of trading for the 2nd overall pick. The Grizzlies currently own the pick, and their biggest weaknesses are at power forward and point guard. A deal will most likely include a future first round pick (or two), a point guard, and a power forward. Because they just traded Kyle Lowry to us, I doubt they will want to get him back and any deal will need to include Aaron Brooks. I'm fine with this because his trade value is at its peak because of his excellent playoffs performance. As I've written before, Brooks had a 1.9 assist to turnover ratio with only 3 assists per game while Lowry had a 2.5 assist to turnover ratio. Brooks's playoff performance may have been an anomaly, so if we have the chance to trade him I think we should. Darryl Morrey found Scola and Landry, so he should be able to replace either one. Here is a possible trade I worked out on Trade Machine.

We would most likely be targeting Ricky Rubio, the 18 year-old, Spanish sensation, with the pick, so I will leave you with a highlight tape from youtube.

A Finals Preview For The Ages

It's been a while since we've posted something worth your while on here, and since there were some, you know, minor developments in the NBA recently (The Finals were set and start Thursday) we feel obligated to give you an idea of what to expect in this series, what each team has to do to win, a few side plots with links to keep you updated and any worthless opinions we might have. And by we, I mean I.

So I guess I'll start with what each team needs to do in order to win this series and in turn an NBA Championship, along with the eternal pride it will bring their city. And in the case of the Lakers, prevent Kobe Bryant from kidnapping Sasha Vujacic and holding him hostage until people start acting like they like him. Then I'll talk about each team's strengths and weaknesses what the other team needs to do to counteract/exploit them. Then I'll give you some links and other stories to keep an eye on. And finally, I'll give you my prediction. In other words, this is going to be one hell of a post. If you don't have time to spare, I'd stop reading.

Los Angeles Lakers

-Lamar Odom has to step up. Not just for the Lakers to win, but because I've actually started to like Lamar. What got me was the special ran at halftime of Game 5 of the Nuggets-Lakers series that focused on his obsession with candy. If you're wondering, for lunch yesterday I had a pack of Sour Skittles, a pack of Shockers, a bag of normal Skittles, a Three Musketeers bar, two Jolly Ranchers and a A&W Root Beer. So yes, I can identify with Lamar.

-Get the ball to Pau Gasol. I'm not sure what the exact stats are and I'm too lazy to look them up, but Gasol shot somewhere around 60 percent during the Conference Finals. That means 3 out every 5 times he shoots, he scores. And of course there's the chance he might get fouled. Or pass the ball to a teammate for an easy bucket, which he also does exceptionally well. In other words, when he has the ball, good things happen.

-The role players need to continue to step up. The Lakers aren't going to have the same players come up big every night, they're bench just isn't good enough. Instead, if they can have different guys each having nights when they contribute to a win, that can be just as helpful. For example, in Game 5 against the Nuggets, Shannon Brown was what tilted the game in the Lakers' favor. He came into the game in the second half and provided energy and some timely baskets, including this dunk over Chris Andersen that broke my heart. Now, Shannon Brown isn't going to do this every game for the Lakers, but if Brown, Ariza, Walton and Bynum can each have one strong game, that might be all the Lakers need.

-Derek Fisher needs to. Hold on. I can't believe I'm actually about to say this. Derek Fisher needs to play well. Normally, I would assume that Fisher is going to play terribly for the Lakers and be done with it. But after he showed us some signs of life in Games 5 and 6 of the Nuggets series, I feel the need to include that he might actually be productive for the Lakers and not the other team in the Finals.

-The Lakers need to continue to defend with intensity. As hard as it is to admit, the Lakers have been the best team in the NBA when they play hard for a full 48 minutes. If they can manage to play their hardest every single game of the Finals, there's a very, very good chance that they'll be raising the Larry O'Brien Trophy. So, to keep it simple, the world's best chance to stop Kobe Bryant from winning another NBA Championship is boredom. I know, I know. 2012 can't come soon enough.

Orlando Magic

-Hedo Turkoglu has to play better than he ever has before. He needs to be at his slashing, driving, dishing, shooting best if the Magic want to win this series. If he is able to control the game for the Magic and do something resembling counteracting Kobe Bryant, the Magic will beat the Lakers. And if you're wondering, my Hedo Turkoglu jersey shirt did arrive. I'll be wearing it for all 4-7 games of the Finals.

-Dwight Howard needs to continue to get the ball. In Games 4 and 6 of the Magic-Cavaliers series, Dwight Howard carried the Magic to victory. In Game 4 he scored 10 points in overtime and in Game 6 he scored 40 in the game. If Dwight continues to be a dominant scorer in the paint as well as the great defender that he usually is, the Magic have a great shot at winning the title.

-Related to the previous post, the Magic need to get the ball to Howard. He can't score if he doesn't have the ball, and they need to make sure they get him touches frequently and early in the shot clock. That hasn't been a problem recently for them, and it hopefully won't be in the Finals.

-Don't foul. That means you, Dwight. But it also applies to the rest of the Magic. They need to stay out of foul trouble and keep the Lakers out of the penalty. They have one of the best defense in the NBA, but that's useless when every foul puts your opponent on the line for two free throws. They still need to be aggressive on defense, just not stupidly-aggressive.

-Run the pick and roll to death. This goes with Hedo Turkoglu playing well. Phil Jackson teams can't guard the pick and roll. It's a well known fact. If Hedo attacks off of every screen he gets and is able to get into the lane and create havoc, the Magic are one of the best teams in the NBA. If he's also dishing out to their shooters and they are making their threes, they're the best. It's that simple.

Now I'll run through what each team does well, and how the other team can stop that. It goes without saying, stopping the other team from doing what they do best means you have a great shot at winning the title.

Los Angeles Lakers

Strength: Kobe Bryant. Real expert analysis, I know.
What the Magic have to do: Mickael Pietrus needs to play the best defense he's ever played. He did a fantastic job on Lebron (It's funny because Lebron still averaged 39, 8 and 8 against them, but it's true) and needs to continue to do so on Kobe. Nothing fancy, just make life difficult for him. Maybe borrow Shane's book. Maybe trip him. No that was a joke. But more importantly, Dwight needs to cut off Kobe's access to the basket. If Kobe isn't driving, he's not the same player. And Kobe isn't driving if Dwight is swatting everything he's putting up at Jack Nicholson.

Strength: The Lakers boast one of the most efficient, versatile offenses in the NBA.
What the Magic have to do: Defend hard, move their feet and contest everything. Rashard Lewis needs to battle Pau Gasol down low. No excuses about him not being a post player, he has to find a way to stop the Lakers from running the offense through Pau, which is when they are deadliest. Dwight Howard needs to stay out of foul trouble. Pietrus needs to stay in front of Kobe. Someone needs to stop letting Trevor Ariza cut to the basket for easy layups after passing it to Pau. Most importantly, the Magic need to get back on defense. The Lakers are unstoppable when they are running, and easy baskets also fuel their defense. It's messed up, but it's how they work. Cutting off their fast break points is essential for the Magic.

Weakness: Defending the pick and roll. For some reason, the Lakers, and Phil Jackson teams as a whole, struggle to guard the pick and roll.
What the Magic have to do: Run the pick and roll. A lot. A hell of a lot. So much that we get tired of seeing it. Hedo can handle the ball and is actually an excellent passer, so if they give him room to operate, he will either create for himself or for others. Dwight Howard moving towards the basket is scary for any team to defend, and his quickness will allow him to get easy baskets off passes from his teammates.

Weakness: Point guard play. There's nothing more to say here, we all know the Lakers point guards suck.
What the Magic have to do: Rafer Alston, Rafer "Why The Hell Did He Shoot That"/"How The Hell Did He Miss That" Alston, is a key to the Magic's victory. If you thought it was scary that his team was in the Finals, think about this. His team is depending on him so that they can win an NBA Championship. As much as I like to rag on Rafer Alston, I like to make fun of Derek Fisher even more. And Rafer is capable of giving Derek Fisher fits. I'm fully confident that Alston and Anthony Johnson can substantially outplay Derek Farma-Brown, and if they do, the Magic are in good shape. On the other hand, my sister and I could outplay Fisher, Farmar and Brown, so that's not saying too much.

Orlando Magic

Strength: They shoot the ball. Extremely well.
What the Lakers have to do: Stay home on the shooters. They need to ignore the instinct to help on Hedo, and let him try to beat them. Because of they collapse when he drives, Rashard, Rafer and Pietrus will be more than happy to fire up threes all day long. The same goes for Dwight. The Lakers can't double team him. Even if he's making Andrew Bynum look like, well, Andrew Bynum.

Strength: One of the most versatile, tricky offenses in the league belongs to the Magic. Their offense revolves around a 6-11 freak of nature and two 6-10 guys shooting threes, with one of them also happening to dribble the ball.
What the Lakers have to do: Use their own versatility. They have Lamar Odom, who's more than capable of shutting down Rashard Lewis. They also have Trevor Ariza, who'll do a much better job on Turkoglu than Delonte West and Wally Whatever-the-hell-his-last-name-is (Szczerbiak). The Lakers need to stop the Magic shooters from getting open looks and, in Ariza's case, stay in front of Turkoglu and generally make things difficult for him.

Weakness: Their offense revolves around three point shooting and Dwight Howard.
What the Lakers have to do: Make Dwight Howard beat them. They need to guard him with one man and not let him kick out to the shooters for open looks. Dwight's offensive arsenal is still limited, and I don't think he's ready to carry a team offensively and defensively for four games out of seven just yet.

Weakness: Rashard Lewis tends to disappear. Even though he's one of the most talented players in the NBA, he sometimes plays passively, choosing to let the game come to him. The only problem is that it often never comes.
What the Lakers have to do: Guard him aggressively. The Lakers need to find a way to take him out of the game. If that means not playing Bynum a single second so that Pau can play center, allowing Odom to guard Lewis, then so be it. Whatever it takes to make Rashard feel more like a spot up shooter and less like the lethal, offensive-killer he is.

Stories and Links

Just to get you into the spirit of things, I've compiled a list of side plots for you to take a look at while killing time before Thursday night's Game 1.

-Lamar Odom likes candy. A lot. A whole hell of a lot. I use the phrase "a whole hell of a lot" a whole hell of a lot. Not much of a story, but here it is anyways. If my opinion is worth anything to you, I saw it during halftime of Game 5 and loved it, but I've already said that in this post.

-Jameer Nelson might be returning for the NBA Finals. This isn't really a subplot, but it's not assured yet so I'm sticking it in here for now. There's so much to discuss here, like what would happen to their rotations should he return, how much he'd be able to help and if they should actually bring him back at all. But for now, I'll leave you with this and this and let you decide for yourself. If he does return, the dynamics of this entire series change, as he averaged 27.5 points in the two games in which the Magic beat the Lakers in during the regular season. But we'll have more on that if he actually does return or as soon as we get a definite answer either way.

-Both of these franchises have been completely changed by Shaquille O'Neal. He left one to suffer through it's own incompetence for 13 years and carried the other to three championships. Here's someone else talking about it.

-The Orlando Magic used to have Trevor Ariza. Not only is he now on the Lakers, he's also an important part of the their team and is arguably their best role player since Lamar Odom seems to pick and choose which games he's going to show up in.

-President Obama is picking the Lakers. I'm a pretty big fan of the man, but doesn't he have a few slightly more pressing issues to be worrying about. You know, maybe like this one? Just saying.

-Dwight Howard says that as long as the fans want him, he's going to stay in Orlando. Someone should probably tell him that he also has four years left on his contract, so leaving isn't really an option for him.

-The Magic have a good center, the Lakers don't. At the moment, at least. Bynum needs to step up if the Lakers want to win.

-A fun little true and false about the NBA Finals. Just because you can never get too much hype.

-Kobe's old. Dwight isn't. That's enough for a story. It's actually a good read if you've got a few minutes to kill.

-The Cavaliers are sad that they lost. Also, Lebron had something growing in his mouth. Yes, he averaged 39, 8 and 8 with something unnatural inside of his mouth. I'm moving on before I start to regret rooting against a Kobe-Lebron Finals.

-Jeff Van Gundy wants his brother's team to win. So do I, but that's besides the point. How he's going to juggle cheering on big brother while maintaining his objectivity is going to be interesting to watch over the course of the next 1-2 weeks.

-An actual Magic blog. And one for the Lakers.

-And one for the Thunder. Just because.

-Lebron averaged 39 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists a game against the Orlando Magic in the Eastern Conference Finals. Here's why Kobe's Western Conference Finals performance was even better. If you aren't reading any of these articles, at least read this one. It's well researched, passionate and convincing. In other words, it's everything this blog isn't.

-This is why you don't make a bunch of puppet commercials when the puppets might not actually make the Finals. "Sorry, I'm allergic to losers."

-Five keys for the Lakers to win the championship. Five more for the Magic.

-Just in case you missed anything along the way, this should bring you up to speed. If you're pressed for time and haven't been able to catch everything that happened during the playoffs, which probably should apply to most normal people, this video is the easiest way to get caught up and ready for the Finals.

-A Bill Simmons Mailbag to preview the NBA Finals. Excellent work as always. Good writing, good article, good for another 10-15 minutes.


NBA Finals Prediction

And now it's time for the good stuff. Well, I like to think it's the good stuff, but I'm not sure how many other people share my sentiments. My for-the-most-part-useless opinion about who's going to win, why and how it's going to happen. In the spirit of taking up more words and being as circuitous as possible, I'll tell you why each team will win before picking one.

Why the Magic will win: They have the ability to get hot from the outside on any given night, which lets them erase big leads and open up large cushions of their own. If they get going, they are nearly impossible to stop, as they have so many shooters that you really can't cover all of them. They have the most dominant post player in the series on both the defensive and offensive ends of the floor, but mainly on defense, which is key against the Lakers. If any team has the ability to slow down the Lakers' vaunted offense, it's this Magic squad. They have a young, growing superstar who looks like he has finally come into his own and is looking to prove himself on the biggest stage of them all against one of the league's most storied franchises, so in other words, you can bet that he'll be motivated and ready to go. They have the advantage at the point guard position, which shouldn't even have to be said at this point because, for God's sake, the Lakers are trotting out Derek Fisher to start games at the one. They have at least one player who the Lakers have no real answer for in Rashard Lewis, but that's mainly because when he's aggressive nobody in the NBA has an answer for him. They have a 6-9 forward who can shoot the ball, dribble, pass and score in the lane who also happens to be money in the clutch, as I've shown you before with various links. In case I haven't, here are a few examples of his best work. If Dwight Howard continues to control the paint on both ends of the floor, the Magic shooters keep shooting the way they have and Hedo can facilitate, score and distribute throughout the series, the Magic have an excellent chance to bring an NBA Championship to Disney World. On a semi-related note, actually, it's not related at all, but why is Disney World two words but Disneyland is one? It makes no sense to me.

Why the Lakers will win: They have the best offense in the NBA and the perfect players to run it. They have the best player in the NBA, or at least in the series, in Mr. Kobe Bean Bryant. Yes, his middle name is Bean. He was named after steak and a kind of plant seed. And he's the best player on the planet, or at least one of the two best. Like I said, 2012 can't come soon enough. They have finally started to play defense consistently and are actually damn good at it. Oh, and by the way, they're doing this all without the man who's supposed to be their starting center playing at anything close to full health. They have the deepest, most talented roster in the league, and anything short of a championship is underachieving for them. If they just live up to their potential, they should win the title.

As much as I hate to say this, I'm picking the Lakers to win it. They have the better team, home court advantage, and it finally looks like the drive as well. They also have the best NBA player not named Lebron, and this player also happens to be a psychopath who probably won't sleep until he wins an NBA Championship without this guy so he can get that much closer to this guy and so that this guy can finally pass up this guy. And so that he won't have to tell the first guy how his ass tastes. Whew.

But in all seriousness, the Lakers have too many options for the Magic to handle, and the Magic just have too many variables that could go wrong at any given time in a game/series. All it takes is one (three pointers not falling, Dwight having an off night, Rashard not being aggressive) and the Magic are in trouble for a game. Have it happen a few times, and they're in trouble for the series as a whole. Not that I think it's going to happen a few times. The Magic are a great team, and they're going to give the Lakers a hell of a fight. I'm picking the Lakers in 7 hard fought, highly contested games.

And with that, let me tell you this. The team that goes up 3-2 in this series is winning it. Because the Magic are winning Game 6. So if they split the first two and go up 3-2 by winning two out of three at home, they'll close it out in Game 6. If the Lakers go up 3-2, they'll lose Game 6 and win Game 7. So do I think the Magic can win two out of four games in Los Angeles? Yes. Do I think they will? No. But, after all, they are the best road team in basketball. And they did win a game and were one second away from winning another in the most hostile road arena in the NBA. And they also closed out a series on one of the best home courts in the league against the defending champions. So, here I am, trying to talk myself into picking the Magic, even though it's just plain stupid. But I'm not trapping myself here. I'm not choosing and underdog just for the hell of it on the off chance that if they win I can shove it in someone's face.

Then again, the Lakers do struggle, and let me emphasize that, struggle, to defend the pick and roll. And that is what the Magic do best. The Lakers also don't really have an answer for Dwight, as Pau isn't strong enough and Bynum isn't anything enough. And the Magic just knocked off the supposed best team in the league. And didn't the Magic go 2-0 against the Lakers during the regular season? But no, I'm not getting dragged into this. There's no way in hell I'm going to be dumb enough to pick the Magic when I can just as easily choose the Lakers, and Kobe Bryant, mind you, and be done with it. So I'll stick with my original prediction of the Lakers in 7.

Of course I'll never admit that to you in person. I'll probably say something like "Magic in 6, 'Glu for Finals MVP." In fact, that exactly what I'll say. You know, just to keep up my air of defiance or aura of stupidity or whatever you choose to call it. But not here. Here I have to be accurate and intelligent with what I say. This isn't a place for my half-assed opinions. Wait, that's exactly what this place is for. Screw it. Magic in 6. 'Glu for Finals MVP.

So there you have it. 3,500 words to keep you company for the next day and a half before the real action starts. Plus 10-15 more articles to read if you're really getting bored. You're welcome. Happy Finals.

Finals Preview

In case you've been wondering, and you probably haven't, we're doing a finals preview. And it's long as hell. I'll have it up sometime [hopefully early] tomorrow. Read it, comment on it, print it out and use it as toilet paper, it's honestly up to you. Just know it'll be available for you if, by some bizarre, twisted turn of fate, you need it.

I Had A Dream

Last night I happened to have one of the most beautiful, uplifting dreams I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing. If you're wondering, it did have to do with the Rockets. Specifically, it was about Tracy Mcgrady.

The dream began about halfway through a Rockets game. I think we were playing the Pistons, or at least a team with similar uniforms to the Pistons. For the sake of making this dream as realistic as possible, let's assume it was the Pistons. But this wasn't just any Rockets game, this was Tracy Mcgrady's first game back from his microfracture surgery. The dream began with the commentator, I think it was Jeff Van Gundy (I actually have no idea who it was, I just want it to be Van Gundy) saying how many doubts there were about Mcgrady's phsyical ability and whether he would ever return to his pre-injury form.

On the first play that I "saw" Mcgrady drove into the lane. But instead of settling for a jumper or passing it or turning it over like he normally does, he kept going once he got inside the three point line. And going and going and going. And he rose up and tomahawked it on Rasheed Wallace. The next play he caught it as he was posting up on the left block, spun towards the basket and dunked it again, making Antonio McDyess the next Shawn Bradley. That's probably the third or fourth time I've used that link on this blog but I could care less.

There were a few more plays in my dream, he hit a jumper from the right wing, a pull-up three and another athletic layup, but is was the last play that stuck with me. The shot-clock was winding down (Another added detail, just like the Jeff Van Gundy one. Humor me. Please) and the ball was kicked out to Mcgrady at around the three point line. He attacked the basket, rose up, contorted his body in the air to move the ball away from both McDyess and Wallace, and dunked it with both hands. And then he did Dwight Howard's post-dunk move and hung onto the rim while lifting both legs up as he tried to put his manhood in both Rasheed Wallace and Antonio McDyess' mouths. At the same time. At that point, Jeff Van Gundy just kept saying "He's back, he's back. Tracy Mcgrady is back."

Then I woke up, realized that Mcgrady's health depends on his work ethic and that even if he does manage to find enough inspiration to put in 6 strong months of rehabilitation, there's still a great chance he'll never get back his lost athleticism and quickness. Damnit. Damnit, damnit, damnit.

Blasphemy

As unbelievable as it might sound, I have come to a conclusion that I myself hate to make. I like Kobe Bryant more than I like Lebron James. It's not just that I respect him more, I actually like him more. By the way, the world "like" is used loosely here. Very, very loosely. But before you start searching for the video of Kobe elbowing Sasha Vujacic so you can send me it or making 4,124 rape jokes about Bryant to me, let me explain my case.

-Kobe doesn't put on that bullshit, and let me repeat that, bullshit, act of being loved by all and being everyone's best friend. Yeah, Kobe is terrible to his teammates on the floor. He bitches at them, sometimes physically abuses them and generally belittles and degrades them for 48 whole minutes. But he's forthright about it. With Kobe, what you see is what you get. You see a horrible teammate and person, and that's exactly what he is. Once in a while he'll try to cover up the true relationship between him and his teammates by telling you how he speaks Italian so Sasha Vujacic, but for the most part it's nothing compared to what Lebron does. Lebron puts on his whole humble, friendly guy-show but then tells us how if the Cavaliers could just clone him (second paragraph) they'd be fine. He refuses to throw Cleveland fans a bone and say that he's planning on staying in Cleveland so they can let out their collective breath before the summer of 2010. And my favorite, he says how he doesn't want to talk about himself before his MVP acceptance speech, and then goes on to talk about himself for 25-30 minutes. He acts like he's all for the team but when they lose he throws them under the bus, leaving them to face the wolves while he doesn't say a single word to the media.

-Lebron's whole "winner" complex or insecurity or whatever the hell you want to call it. It was honestly embarrassing that he walked off the court without so much as a congratulatory nod at any player on the Magic. No matter how many titles you've won, no matter how good you are, no self-respecting basketball player will ignore the other team after losing a series. Yes, Isiah Thomas and some of the Pistons walked off the court without shaking hands with the Bulls when they lost to them for the first time. Those Pistons were also hated by everyone outside of Detroit. I agree, Lebron is probably competitive. You think Kobe isn't competitive? What about Nash? Duncan? Nowitzki? Garnett? Every time I watch one of those guys lose a series, they're paying their respects to the victor, no matter how grudgingly it may be. The funny part is, Lebron actually hasn't won anything. He's got the same number of NBA Championships I do. In fact, he's won the same number of games in the NBA Finals that I have. So what gives him the right to bitch and moan and throw a tantrum akin to something you'd see from a five year old girl?

So even though this might have been an exaggeration (I don't think it's possible to actually "like" Kobe Bryant) I just wanted to get this off my chest. Lebron has an air of entitlement that puts me off, and his recent bitch-fit did so more than ever. Yeah, he's a great basketball player. Yeah, there's a good chance he'll go down as the best ever. No, that doesn't give him the right to act like a complete tool just because he lost a series. That Jordan fellow was supposed to be pretty competitive and I don't think he ever refused to congratulate the winning team he lost. Despite Lebron trying to convince us otherwise, Kobe Bryant is the most competitive man on the planet, and you bet your ass he'll be shaking hands with the other team after an elimination game, no matter how reluctantly. So Lebron, grow up. Stop acting like a petulant child. You haven't won anything. And even if/when you do, you don't have the right to act like you're above everyone else. Even if you may be. Don't make us root against you. I want to like you. I want to embrace the idea that there can actually be an NBA player who is loved by his teammates and his opponents alike and still manages to win. Don't ruin that for me. Don't ruin that for every single NBA fan who's going to get the chance to watch you play. And if you do, I hope you have to spend many more summers sitting on your ass while Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Dwyane Wade, Carmelo Anthony, Brandon Roy, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, Deron Williams, Yao Ming, Kevin Durant (Yes, Kevin Durant. OKC Thunder, your 2012 NBA Champions. Book it now) and every other NBA star you can think of is playing for a title. And now that I've actually published this, I'll probably start looking for a rock to live under until I can just die from the shame of saying what I just said.