So It Ends

So, here we are. The NBA season has come to an end. A new champion has been crowned. The slew of awkward interactions and hugs between people who most likely have never spoken with one another has come and gone. Phil Jackson's bizarre "X" hat with Chinese characters on it was unveiled for the world's enjoyment/horror. (I understand the "X" is for 10 championships, but I'm just wondering how long ago they made the hat. Is it from 2004? Have they just been holding it until he finally won his 10th championship? Or was it made this year? How much of a role did he have in designing the hat? Did he know that it existed before they won? Wouldn't that have just put even more pressure on him to win? What would they have done with it if the Lakers had lost? Two months from now would some poor Nigerian be wearing a Phil Jackson celebratory hat? I need answers.) Questions about Phil Jackson's headgear aside, we've got some recapping to do.

First things first, I'd like to (admittedly begrudgingly) congratulate the Lakers. You know, giving credit where credit is due, not being a sore loser, things like that. They won an NBA Championship. Something only 14 teams have done before, something they've done for the 15th time. That's a hell of an accomplishment, no matter how hated they might be for it. As much as I've berated and ridiculed the Lakers this season, seeing the pure emotion coming from team as the clock hit the triple zeroes was special. The unbridled joy that comes from working through the ups, downs and turbulence of everything in between of an NBA season only to end up on top reminded of why I watch basketball, even if it was coming from some of my least favorite living creatures on the planet. And I know, the same reaction comes from every team in every sport after they win, and it's usually even more fevered and excited than the Lakers' celebration, but it's still always a spectacle to see. So without any more smoke-blowing, I'll run through a few personalized congratulatory paragraphs before getting to my conciliatory (what a word) speech for the Magic.

Kobe Bryant-Go to hell. Take your trophy, under-bite-face and inhuman shots and go to hell. Leave Vanessa here though. But in all seriousness, Kobe Bryant deserves this. He is probably one of the five most hated people in the world, endlessly yells at and belittles his teammates and is most likely impossible to play with, but he deserves it. Not just the hate, but the championship as well. I know how every single media member has written about how much he wanted this title, but there's a reason for that. It's true. From his newly created angry wolf-man face to his performances on the court, everything about Kobe this postseason has screamed desperation. Desperation to finally get that 330 pound apostrophe-named monkey off of his back. Desperation to cement his legacy as one of the best players ever. Desperation to take a team that is actually his own to the top of the mountain. And it was never more evident than the end of Game 5, when he started jumping up and down with his hands in the air with a few seconds left and then started doing the Jordan Fist Pump While Jumping Extremely High over and over again. And of course when he nearly cried when being interviewed after receiving the Finals MVP trophy. Kobe Bryant wanted this championship. More than that, he needed it. He needed to validate himself. He needed to prove to himself that he could do it. He needed to be able to tell Shaq just exactly how his ass tastes. And he did it. Congratulations Kobe. Now get the hell out of my life for the next four months. Please. Don't ask questions, just do it. Disappear to some island and enjoy this, but more importantly, don't force me to see you until training camp.


Pau Gasol-One of the few Lakers that I'm actually happy for. After taking nonstop criticism since last summer for being "soft" when he never really deserved it, Pau showed us why he's the second best center in the NBA. Sorry Dwight, but this Finals demonstrated to us that you're not quite there yet. Pau's willingness to guard virtually anyone, his tenacious, relentless covering of Dwight Howard and his typically brilliant offense in the final five games of the season cemented his status as anything but "soft". He's versatile, extremely talented and a whole hell of a lot more fiery than anyone could have guessed, and he deserves this championship as much as anyone on the Lakers.

Lamar Odom-A man whose play was inconsistent enough that a doctor wrote an article theorizing that his affection for candy was the reason why he seemingly randomly disappeared in games. A man whose infant son died a few years ago. A man who for so long had physical gifts that in no way matched his desire or focus to play basketball. A man who, after Pau and Kobe, took the most criticism for the Lakers' loss to the Celtics last year. And deservedly so. But he, like nearly every other Laker, redeemed himself this year. In the Finals he was involved, interested, and, probably most importantly, effective. He showed us that somewhere in that immensely talented 6-11 frame is an actual beating heart pumping blood through a living, breathing human being. A shocking revelation, if you ask me, but a well deserved championship for the "Candyman."

Phil Jackson-Yes, he had Michael and Scottie, Shaq and Kobe, and Kobe and Pau/Lamar/injuries to Yao, Mcgrady, Ginobili, Nelson and Garnett. You know what else he has? 10 NBA Championships. As a coach. That's 10 more than me and good enough for the most in NBA history. Greatest coach of all time? Luckiest coach of all time? Does anyone really give a damn?

Derek Fisher-For all my jokes about you being half-dead, utterly useless and a disgrace to the good people of Little Rock, Arkansas (that last one's new), you came through when it mattered the most. After sleepwalking through nearly the entire length of the playoffs, you were brought back to life in Game 4 and hit the two biggest shots of the NBA season. Now you'll get to slack through another full year without being benched or called out by your teammates. Congratulations. Not just on the championship, but on buying yourself an extension on your career. Have fun getting burned by Aaron Brooks, Chris Paul and Deron Williams next season.

Sasha Vujacic-Cheer up Machine. I know you didn't have the ideal series. I know you didn't score in the NBA Finals. I know you probably hurt the Lakers more than you helped them. But you're still my favorite Laker. Keep your head up, one day you'll be a star. In hindsight, probably not. You lack a variety of fundamental basketball skills necessary to be a successful NBA player. But at least you're a winner. And not Sun Yue.

And finally, to the Lakers team as a whole. You took shots all year for not being focused, for being too soft, for not showing up every night and for being a bunch of arrogant pricks who were hated by nearly every one outside of Los Angeles, but you still ended up winners. It probably didn't happen the exact way you wanted it to, but, it usually never does. And, like they say, the ends justify the means. And your means have been justified. You went from the peak of peaks in 2000-2002 down to the bottom of the league and eventually and into basketball hell for a few years by making the playoffs consistently but never contending, and lost last season in the Finals. And now, you're here again. The top of the mountain, the end of the road, whatever you want to call it. You're NBA Champions.

But here's where the real work begins. Now you have to go and do it again. Teams will come at you harder, contenders will be healthier and you'll still have to find the fire and will to compete every night. Do that, and you make the leap from champion to dynasty, from great to legendary. So enjoy these next few months, because come November, the grind starts all over again.

And if you think I'm being nicer than usual to the Lakers, you're right. As much as I hate to say it, I'm starting to respect this team. Because no matter how hard it is to like them, you can't deny that they have been through a lot. And before you pounce on me, remember the struggle that is Lamar Odom's life, Derek Fisher's daughter and of course, Kobe's rape-trial that still (understandably and deservedly so) haunts him to this day. I'm not supporting Kobe, but even the most stubborn Laker-hater will admit that he's been through hell, even if he brought it on himself.

So yes, in a twisted, mind-boggling way that even I don't fully understand, I'm happy for the Lakers. Yes, I'd rather be saying this about 29 other NBA teams, but I'm not sure those 29 other NBA teams merit having this said about them. Well, at least 28 of them. If anyone's been through more than the Lakers, it's the Rockets. But the middle of a paragraph in the middle of an article is no place for that. That deserves it's own, very, very lengthy post. And if you think I'm saying all of this about the Lakers so that I can generate some good karma for the Rockets next year, you're spot on. Partially, at least. But to make a long, tedious story short, be proud, Los Angeles. You're champions.


Kobe made some questionable facial expressions during the Finals


And, to be cliché, for every winner, we must have a loser. Unfortunately, the loser this year was the Orlando Magic. A very good team. A great team actually. A few inches either way and they would have been up 3-1 in this series instead of down. If Courtney Lee had hit a difficult layup (something he does frequently) and Fisher hadn't made a 3 (hardly a stretch, he had missed 5 times in 5 tries up to that point) this would have been a very different series. But he didn't, he did, and it wasn't. Still, there's nothing to be ashamed of there.

Orlando, you went at least a round farther than most people had you going. You lost to an extremely talented, hungry and more experienced team. You beat the team with the best record and best player in basketball during the regular season. And you did all of this without your All-Star point guard. (And on the bright side, you won a game this time. That's one more than you did against us. At this rate, you'll win a championship in your third Finals appearance after this. So if you get to one every 15 years, you'll be champions in 45 years. Congratulations to the Orlando Magic, your 2054 NBA Champions. Book it.)

But I'll stop being an ass for a few sentences. If may ask one thing of you, it's this: remember this feeling. Especially you, Dwight. Remember how it feels to be a loser after getting this far. Remember the pain, spend nights staying up thinking about it, let it eat away at you. You're 23, you'll get a title soon enough. But not without the right amount of desire. And if this doesn't give you the fire needed to win the last game of the NBA season, then nothing will. So, if you've learned nothing else from this series (And you should have learned a lot. Mainly, Dwight, that you need to developed at least three more reliable moves in the paint. Which would bring your total to three. But that's a topic for another day.) learn how it feels to be a loser. It happened to the guys you just lost to last year, and as you can see, things worked out pretty well for them. So keep all of these emotions with you. Not just for next year or until you win a championship, but for your whole career. Let it push you to get better. Remember that a little passion goes a long way in this league. Keep at it, and soon you'll be on the other side of this result, celebrating with Bill Russell and popping champagne the way Kobe and company are right now.

Remember that to get to the top, you have to start from the bottom. You have to stumble along the way. You have to be knocked down in order to be able to get back up. You've got the falling down part mastered, now it's time to see if you can rise up after it. Have a restless, sleepless, frustrating four months. Some day, it'll all be worth it.

And finally, congratulations to the Houston Rockets. Not only did we take the Lakers to more games than any other team did, we also were, in my opinion, the main reason for their victory. Without our series, they never would have realized that they had to bring their best effort every single game in order to win. You're welcome, L.A. Send us a few of those championship rings and we'll call it even.

Which brings us to the end. 30 teams, 82 games and then 16 more teams each trying to win 16 more games. A lot of basketball, a lot of moments to remember. There was Wade's resurgence (Yes Dwyane, it's your house), Lebron's dominance, Kobe's elbows and some great commercials. We had a spirited run and won 1-3 more games against the Lakers than most people expected us to and were their toughest out in the postseason. And, most importantly, we made it past the first round. Suck it, Tracy.

But now we enter the long dark that is the NBA offseason. Sure, we'll have the draft, and yes, hopefully there will be some blockbuster trades or free agent signings, but for the most part, we're on our own now. Completely on our own, trying to keep it together for four months before basketball starts once again. Check back here for updates on the Rockets, ideas and propositions from two of the finest basketball minds you'll ever come across (Yes, I'm talking about myself and Billy. Try not to laugh) and if some groundbreaking, earth-shattering, other-adjective-that-describes-our-planet being-torn-apart event happens in the NBA. It's been a fun postseason, and we'll be back stronger than ever next year. Which really isn't saying much, but still. Enjoy the summer. And, just for the hell of it, go Rockets.