Rudy Gay? More Like Rudy Not-Gay!

That was in poor taste. Rudy's sexuality has nothing to do with his basketball ability and he'd be a great asset to the team regardless of what kind of ass he's chasing. Get it? Asset. But to be entirely serious, his sexual orientation couldn't matter any less, I just really couldn't think of a title.

If anyone remembers the 2006 NBA Draft, they remember the Rockets explicitly saying that we would trade the number 8 pick if we didn't get Brandon Roy. They also remember us not getting Brandon Roy and trading away Rudy Gay. They also remember the frustration they felt when Rudy Gay was having a fantastic sophomore year and we were wondering how much he would have helped when after the inevitable Mcgrady injury. They also remember feeling slightly vindicated last year when he regressed. If they remember all of this, asides from being more than a little too invested in the Rockets, they remember that Rudy Gay was already unhappy sharing the ball with O.J. Mayo last year and that will be made worse this season by adding this guy and this guy. (For those of you scoring at home, that's two times I've used Allen Iverson's mug shot. My goal for this season is 48.) As Bill Simmons says in his latest article:

"You will be able to get Gay for the right price. Just save the Grizzlies $3 million, give them someone half as good, take one of their bad contracts as window dressing and throw in a No. 1 pick so the deal looks better than it is, and Chris Wallace is going to say, 'I should probably shop this around, but screw it, I'll just panic and say yes.'"

That team getting Gay could be us. We'd probably have to give up Ariza in the deal but I say it'd definitely be worth it. Gay is a guy who can score 25 a game and lead a team, and once Mcgrady gets hurt (I know, the theme this year is believing in T-Mac, but doubting him has a purpose here so bear with me) he will be our undisputed number one guy. Then next year we come back with a bonafide superstar in Rudy Gay, the best center in the NBA with Yao, what will still be the perfect supporting cast and cap space from letting Mcgrady go. I'm not saying this is going to happen, I just think that Rudy Gay would be a great guy to buy low on and invest in. If it doesn't work out, he can still fill whatever role Trevor Ariza was going to fill this year pretty well. If it does, we would have just managed to get a guy we all thought would be the next Tracy Mcgrady while still keeping the original Tracy Mcgrady happy. It's like when you go to a fast food chain and make sure to ask for ketchup, only they've already put ketchup in your bag, so you get twice the amount of ketchup, except it's a lot less pathetic and that the two things aren't actually all that related.

In an entirely unrelated note, I cannot believe that Josh McRoberts isn't not white. I used the double negative there because when you first hear his name, you're sure that he has to be a white guy. Then you get so sure that you start to wonder if there isn't something strange at work, if a name like Josh McRoberts might just be too obvious. Then, if you're like me, you convince yourself that he's actually a black guy masquerading around in a white guy's name. And, if you're also like me, you feel like an idiot when you Google him and get a thousand photos like this (hint: he's not the black guy), none of them making him look even the slighest bit anything-other-than-white.

But yeah, I really want Rudy Gay. And there's nothing gay about that.

Damnit, I did it again.