Game 6 Preview: Nothing

Nothing needs to be said about this game. We all know the implications. We all know what's on the line. We all know how much this means to the Lakers, and we know how much more it means to us. We all understand what winning this game, and, unfortunately, what losing it would mean. We all understand what everyone thinks our chances are, we also understand that our actual chances are much better than that. We all want to win tonight. We all want to play one more game. We all want this miraculous, odds-defying, counterintuitive, sometimes even confusing and undeniably special run to continue. And that alone is saying enough about Game 6. But we have a few hours until 8:30, so I'm going to say more. A lot more. A hell of a lot more. Because we have a game tonight. Which also means we have a game to preview. To rephrase. We have an elimination game to preview.

The Good

-It can't get much worse than it did on Tuesday night. It might come close. In fact, it might get pretty damn close, but it won't be worse. And that's always something to take solace in. Because if things aren't getting worse, that usually means they're getting better. We will not have another performance like that on the defensive end. Our defense on Tueday night had more holes than Magic Johnson has white blood cells. Which isn't really saying much, but still. And yes, that was another HIV joke. Our offense, as problematic as it is, will improve. Even though we have our fair share of struggles scoring the ball, we'll shoot better than 5-29 from three, which should automatically improve our scoring.

-We're at home. Which, despite what you say about the Staples Center crowd, (they're dead, it's like there's nobody even at the game, I don't think they actually want to be here but it's an easy way to get on TV, Jack Nicholson has looked over at that 25 year old woman for the third time in 2 minutes and it's starting to make me uncomfortable, things like that) playing at home is always better than playing on the road. Playing at home means it's easier to work up that frantic energy that we are going to need to beat the Lakers, and that's a plus.

-The Lakers still have no answer for Aaron Brooks. He had a tougher time on Tuesday because of Gasol and Bynum clogging the lane, but in the second half he looked more like his usual, speedy, wind-up car self. The Lakers, and every other NBA team for that matter, have nobody quick enough to stay in front of him. When the other team has nobody that can guard you, that's usually a good thing for your team. What's not good for your team is when you decide to tell the oher team that they can't guard you again and again and again and again. I'm talking to you here Kobe. Enough with the "You can't stop me" stuff with Shane. We know you're good, but you also have the most unfairly talented team in the NBA behind you and are still struggling to beat a depleted, significantly less-gifted Rockets team.

-The worst, worst, worst case scenario is that we lose tonight. Which, like anything else, has a good side to it. Losing means less of Odom's nose, less of Vujacic's hair, less of the massive Pubic-Hair Beard/Fungus known as Pau Gasol (which I've actually come to enjoy), less of Andrew Bynum's towel waving (I can still make fun of him all I want. All he did in Game 5 was realize that since he is an NBA player who also happens to be taller than everyone else on the court, he should actually have a positive impact on the game) and less of Sasha and Shannon's Fellowship of Female Athletes, also known as the Lakers' bench. And no more Lakers means no more Kobe. Which means the female population of Houston can stop holding their collective breath. In case this needs clarifying, that was a reference to his sexual assualt case. As you can see, I'm pulling out all the stops tonight. It might be another five months before I can make these jokes again.

Side note: This has nothing to do with anything, but that new Jack in the Box commercial just came on. It's the commercial in which the guy asks for 99 tacos for two cents, and I have one question: is there any way this guy isn't a stoner? He sees a little pixie-version of Jack who he talks to, laughs like he's been hit in the head with an elbow from Kobe, and can't read the damn sign in the drive-through line. Which makes you wonder if Jack in the Box really had no other good ideas for a commercial besides a clip of a man in a car pretending to be under the influence that probably took 15 minutes to write, direct, film, produce and whatever the hell else they do to movies. But that's neither here nor there, so I'll stop now.

The Bad

-In case anyone needs to review, we lost by 40 the last time we played these guys. Which means that on some nights, they can be a lot better than us. A whole lot better than us. They dismantled us once, which means there's the chance they can do it again. In other words, the Lakers are still a very, very dangerous basketball team.

-Who knows what kind of psychological effects Game 5 had on the Rockets. I'm mentally scarred myself and all I did was watch the game, so I don't even want to think about how the players feel. Losing like that can be deflating. It can be will-breaking. In can be spirit-crushing. It can be a lot other things that involve some combination of a synonym for hope, a dash, and synonym for destroying.

-Ron Artest has had two "Hey, Yao, Mcgrady and I are the three best players on this team. Mcgrady is out, and now Yao is out. Which means...I'm the best player we have left?" games in a row, which is a bad sign. He needs to understand that we need him to play within the offense and maintain the flow of the game for us to have a chance.

-There's a small chance that Brian Cook might actually touch the floor. Which should never be possible in an NBA basketball game. Unless DJ Mbenga is also playing.

The Ugly

A battle between DJ Mbenga's (L) and Brian Cook's (R) ears would be a treat for NBA fans all over the world, but punishment for anyone with vision. Things just keep getting better and better for those damn blind people.

What Has to Happen

-This may seem like I'm taking the easy way out, but the Rockets' offense needs to show up. As I've said on multiple occasions before, our offense is our "go-to-guy" in the attempt at pregnancy that is a basketball game. So the Little Rocket (I like this one) needs to come up big.

-Aaron Brooks needs to be on fire from the beginning. And Luis Scola needs to play like he played from November-April, not like he has in the playoffs. Brooks needs to continue to get in the paint and run circles around the Lakers' big men and Scola needs to start shooting his midrange jumper before I start to shoot it for him. I'm not sure what that threat exactly meant, but it sounded manly and I just went with it. But for us to have a shot tonight, both Scola and Brooks need to have big games.

-The energy that has become as much a part of the Rockets' game as anything has to be present from the very beginning. Somehow, some way, the Rockets need to get motivated for Game 6, and that means forgetting about Game 5. In order for us to play our best tonight, we are going to have to move past Tuesday night. Once we get it out of our heads, we should be able to play the hustling, disrupting, frustrating defense that we're used to playing, and that effort should carry over to the offensive end.


The Point

We win tonight, we get another chance. We lose, our offseason begins. It doesn't get any simpler than that. And if nothing else, I want the Rockets to win so that I don't have to sit around for another month watching other teams play basketball. But there's plenty else. For starters, I really don't like the Lakers. If they're going to win, I want us to make sure we make it as hard as we can on them. And of course, I really, really like the Rockets. More than I dislike the Lakers. And even though it happens for 29 out of the NBA's 30 teams, watching your season end on a loss is always painful. You dwell on it, wonder what could have changed, and in our case, wonder why injuries always strike us at the worst possible time. And I would like to postpone that feeling for as long as I possibly can. On a lighter note, nothing is more exciting than an underdog beating a heavy favorite multiple times. If it happens once, it's a wake up call for the favorite. If it happens twice, the favorite has some concentration issues. If it happens three times, maybe the underdog isn't as much of an underdog as we all thought. I want nothing more than for us to push the Lakers one more time, to make them question their team, coaching, and heart once again. To leave the rest of the world asking each other what the hell just happened. To make me proud to love this team, even if it's for the last time this year. Now that that's all out of the way, I'll leave you with this. It's not much. It's actually just two words. But those two words can be oh-so powerful when you realize how much thought, emotion, influence, and meaning they have. When you realize that 18,000 people are going to be saying those words with you tonight. When you realize that deep down, there's no better, simpler way to explain how you feel. You probably already know what those two words are, which means you probably already know that I'm going to say them anyway. Go Rockets

Is Kobe Bryant a Top Flight Defender?

Kobe is a member of the NBA all defensive first team, ahead of the Rockets' two super defenders, Shane Battier and Ron Artest. As I have watched the Rockets-Lakers series, I have come to question the idea that Kobe is an elite defender. Last year during the MVP race, the argument was made that Kobe was a much better defender than Lebron, and, therefore, he deserved to win the MVP. He did win the award, so his reputation as an elite defender was recognized. Then, this summer a lot of time was spent discussing Kobe's role on the national team as a defensive specialist. This solidified his reputation as a great defender. Because most basketball writers do not pay attention to the defensive side of the game and because the standard stats devoted to defense do a poor job of identifying good defenders, most selections to the all-NBA defensive teams are based on reputation and hype. Once Kobe was called a good defender by ESPN and the other propaganda machines of the NBA, he was bound to be voted to the all-defensive team. The question is whether he deserves it:


THE CASE FOR KOBE: -He is twelfth in the NBA in steals per game this year (1.46) However, as I said before, standard defensive stats are a poor measure of defensive prowess, and the always great Rafer Alston is thirteenth in the league.

-He is a great athlete and competitor He is athletic, but being a great athlete is not a guarantee of being a great defender (see: Carter, Vince and Wafer, Von)

-He guards the other teams best player Oh really? So Shane Battier is our biggest scoring threat? I would expect him to want to guard Artest, but he has spent the whole series on Battier


MY CASE AGAINST KOBE: -He gives Shane Battier the open three every time down the court This worked out real well for the Lakers last night when Battier went off

-He spends too much energy trying to run the Lakers' offense With terrible point guards, a 3 that can't do anything, a head case named Lamar Odom, and a Spaniard at center, Kobe is forced to do everything for the Lakers offense. He always ends up with the ball in his hands and is required to score, to make plays, and to save enough energy for the fourth quarter. All of this activity puts a toll on Kobe's body and he is unable to play his hardest on defense all the time

-He is almost never called for a foul Oftentimes, a foul is the result of a good, aggressive defensive play and hustle. Being a great defender requires hustle and effort, and Kobe's lack of fouls seem to indicate a lack of both of these crucial defensive traits

THE VERDICT: Kobe has elite defensive ability; however, his incredible expenditure of energy on offense forces him to pick his spots on defense when he really locks on. Because he doesn't always bring it, his inconstancy means that he doesn't deserve a spot on the All-NBA defensive team instead of Shane Battier.


Shane Battier demonstrating good D

Game 4 Recap: Never Underestimate the Heart of a

Champion. And on Sunday afternoon, only one basketball team looked like champions. And it wasn't the team that has been predicted to win the championship by "experts" since the end of last season. It wasn't the team with the supposed best player in the world. It wasn't so-called deepest team in the NBA. It wasn't the team that barely lost in the Finals last year without their starting center, which everyone thought meant that there was no way they would lose this year. It was the team that has been doubted all year long. It was the team that was missing two of its best three players, a combined 45 million dollars a year. It was the team that came out and played inspired, smart, hard, free, emotional, prideful basketball. It wasn't the Lakers. It was the Houston Rockets. Those relentless, tenacious, persistent Rockets. I've never seen a team go through so much in one year only to bounce back stronger every single time. I don't give a damn if we lose Games 5 and 6 by 78 points combined, what the Rockets have done in this series and this season is more impressive than anything any other team has done all year long. Now that that's out of the way, on to business.

The Good

-Aaron Brooks played the best basketball that I've ever seen him play. With Derek Fisher's Dead Body guarding him, Brooks was able to get to the basket, find his teammates, and wreak general havoc. All 6 feet of him.

-The Rockets' defense. We played stifling, determined defense, holding the Lakers to 54 points in three quarters. Even though we let them back into the game in the end of the fourth quarter, but 45 minutes of lock down defense makes up for 3 minutes of falling asleep at the wheel.

-Shane Battier played the game of his Rockets career, scoring 23 points and playing his usual bothersome, effective, Kobe pamphlet-studying defense on Bryant that we've grown to love and expect from him.

The Bad

-Ron Artest's Hero Complex kicked in and he took some shots that made we want to rape a Coloradan. We won despite Ron-Ron, not because of him, and that can't happen again if we want to win Game 5.

-Pau Gasol scored 30 points, and even though some of them came in the fourth quarter when the game was already decided, he looked comfortable going against the likes of Scola and Hayes. In other Pau-related news, his beard actually covers the whole underside of his chin/neck, almost reaching his Adam's Apple. I'm starting to think it's more of a fungus than facial hair, and that it actually has a mind of it's own and is spreading by itself. For everyone with vision's sake, let's hope Pau regains control of his face. Until then, those damn blind people win again.

-I just insulted blind people and made fun of a sexual assualt case within two paragraphs of each other. Other than that, the Rockets played a hell of a game and I can't really find any more fault with it. We lost some of our intensity towards the end of the game, but that happens when you've been giving your full, unbridled effort for 3 and a half quarters.

The Ugly








Dick Bavetta (L), one of our officials for Game 4.







What Happened

The Rockets attacked the Lakers from the opening tip, beating them to loose balls, defending with intensity, and generally out-hustling the girls in purple for the duration of the game. I don't know if we were inspired by Yao, everyone counting us out, or Lamar Odom's nose, but the Rockets played with more effort than the Lakers, and that translated into the win. The Rockets were also on fire for most of the game. I compared the Rockets' offense to a man's Magic Johnson in the sense that it only needed to function for us to have a chance, and in Game 4 we found the Viagra. That might have been in poor taste, but I liked it. And spent 5 minutes on Google looking for a funny phrase for a man's little man, so you bet your ass I was going to use "Magic Johnson" once I found it. Back on to the point (it just happened that time), the Rockets dominated the Lakers today, and that's really all there is to say. I have a hard time nitpicking when we played such an impressive game, so I'm not going to try. Like Phil Jackson said in his post-game interview, "Give them some f*cking credit". So that's what I'll do. I'll give them some f*cking credit.

The Point

The Rockets lost Yao, everyone thought this series was over, we came out and proved them wrong. If this storyline sounds familiar, it's because the same thing happened last spring. And this spring for that matter, except Yao was replaced with Mcgrady this time. No matter what happens after today I'm proud of the Rockets for finding strength in numbers when we needed it the most. I can't imagine what it feels like to go against a team that already might be better than you when you're healthy without your best player, but the Rockets do. And thanks to some hot shooting and tough defense, we now also know how it feels to beat that team. Game 4 went better than I dared to hope it would, but now comes the hard part. Stealing a game [again] in Los Angeles. But that's a different topic for a different day. Today, I'm glad we were able to keep this playoff run alive for a little longer and promise ourselves another game at the Toyota Center. The better team won today, it just wasn't the team everyone expected it to be. Go Rockets.