A Message for Lakers Fans at Toyota Center

At the game last night, I was surprised by the number of Lakers fans at Toyota Center. There were Kobe jerseys scattered throughout the stands, and, by the end of the game, Lakers fans seemed to be the only ones who hadn't headed for the exits. There were even a few Lakers fans sitting right behind me. While I respect your right to be at the game, I request that you follow these guidlines:

1.) Don't Go Overboard on the Cheering-
Sure, you can get excited when Kobe hits a 35 foot three at the buzzer while falling left with Crazy Ron all over him, but no you can't scream about an easy Lamar Odom lay-up. Also, I don't want to hear any attempts to start a "DE-FENSE, Clap-Clap, DE-FENSE, Clap-Clap" while the Rockets have the ball. Enjoy the game, but try not to ruin it for us.

2.) Don't Be Obnoxious-
The Laker fan sitting behind me at the game last night was the most obnoxious, dislikable person I have ever encountered at a sporting event. The main reason for this was his continued screaming of one phrase, "Come on KOBEEEEEEEEE!!!" in a scratchy Mexican accent every-time the Lakers brought the ball down the court. If the ball was passed to Kobe, he would do it again, as if we hadn't heard him the first time. It didn't even matter if Kobe was on the court, because this idiot would scream, "Come on KOBEEEEEEEEEE!!!" even if the Lakers line up at the time consisted of 4 white guys and Lamar Odom. Don't scream just to hear the sound of your own voice, because you probably don't sound very good.

3.) Don't Be Belligerent-
After hearing the idiot behind me scream for the one hundredth time, I turned around a respectfully asked him to stop screaming. He responded with "F*** you," and began screaming, "Come on KOBEEEEEEE!!!!!!", with more gusto than ever before. Oh, and Kobe was on the bench at this point. He spent the rest of the game screaming just trying to get me to do something. Well, I have news for my Laker fan amigos, next time I will knock you out like Ron Artest would. And you are surrounded by people wearing red, think about that before you try to pick a fight.

4.) Don't Call the Lakers "We"-
While I'm sure you've had that Kobe Bryant jersey for at least 10 days, I'm pretty sure that the Lakers are not "your" team. I understand that you hopped off the Celtics bandwagon when Garnett went out with an injury, but your few weeks of fanhood do not make the Lakers your team, anymore than the Red Sox, Patriots, and Red Wings are your teams. If you live in Houston and you root for the Lakers, you are a bandwagon fan, and there is nothing worse than a bandwagon fan. So keep your mouth shut and go home to your house filled with Florida football gear.

If Lakers fans don't follow these simple guidlines, they might be in for a little rendezvous with Ron-Ron.