Game 6 Preview: Nothing

Nothing needs to be said about this game. We all know the implications. We all know what's on the line. We all know how much this means to the Lakers, and we know how much more it means to us. We all understand what winning this game, and, unfortunately, what losing it would mean. We all understand what everyone thinks our chances are, we also understand that our actual chances are much better than that. We all want to win tonight. We all want to play one more game. We all want this miraculous, odds-defying, counterintuitive, sometimes even confusing and undeniably special run to continue. And that alone is saying enough about Game 6. But we have a few hours until 8:30, so I'm going to say more. A lot more. A hell of a lot more. Because we have a game tonight. Which also means we have a game to preview. To rephrase. We have an elimination game to preview.

The Good

-It can't get much worse than it did on Tuesday night. It might come close. In fact, it might get pretty damn close, but it won't be worse. And that's always something to take solace in. Because if things aren't getting worse, that usually means they're getting better. We will not have another performance like that on the defensive end. Our defense on Tueday night had more holes than Magic Johnson has white blood cells. Which isn't really saying much, but still. And yes, that was another HIV joke. Our offense, as problematic as it is, will improve. Even though we have our fair share of struggles scoring the ball, we'll shoot better than 5-29 from three, which should automatically improve our scoring.

-We're at home. Which, despite what you say about the Staples Center crowd, (they're dead, it's like there's nobody even at the game, I don't think they actually want to be here but it's an easy way to get on TV, Jack Nicholson has looked over at that 25 year old woman for the third time in 2 minutes and it's starting to make me uncomfortable, things like that) playing at home is always better than playing on the road. Playing at home means it's easier to work up that frantic energy that we are going to need to beat the Lakers, and that's a plus.

-The Lakers still have no answer for Aaron Brooks. He had a tougher time on Tuesday because of Gasol and Bynum clogging the lane, but in the second half he looked more like his usual, speedy, wind-up car self. The Lakers, and every other NBA team for that matter, have nobody quick enough to stay in front of him. When the other team has nobody that can guard you, that's usually a good thing for your team. What's not good for your team is when you decide to tell the oher team that they can't guard you again and again and again and again. I'm talking to you here Kobe. Enough with the "You can't stop me" stuff with Shane. We know you're good, but you also have the most unfairly talented team in the NBA behind you and are still struggling to beat a depleted, significantly less-gifted Rockets team.

-The worst, worst, worst case scenario is that we lose tonight. Which, like anything else, has a good side to it. Losing means less of Odom's nose, less of Vujacic's hair, less of the massive Pubic-Hair Beard/Fungus known as Pau Gasol (which I've actually come to enjoy), less of Andrew Bynum's towel waving (I can still make fun of him all I want. All he did in Game 5 was realize that since he is an NBA player who also happens to be taller than everyone else on the court, he should actually have a positive impact on the game) and less of Sasha and Shannon's Fellowship of Female Athletes, also known as the Lakers' bench. And no more Lakers means no more Kobe. Which means the female population of Houston can stop holding their collective breath. In case this needs clarifying, that was a reference to his sexual assualt case. As you can see, I'm pulling out all the stops tonight. It might be another five months before I can make these jokes again.

Side note: This has nothing to do with anything, but that new Jack in the Box commercial just came on. It's the commercial in which the guy asks for 99 tacos for two cents, and I have one question: is there any way this guy isn't a stoner? He sees a little pixie-version of Jack who he talks to, laughs like he's been hit in the head with an elbow from Kobe, and can't read the damn sign in the drive-through line. Which makes you wonder if Jack in the Box really had no other good ideas for a commercial besides a clip of a man in a car pretending to be under the influence that probably took 15 minutes to write, direct, film, produce and whatever the hell else they do to movies. But that's neither here nor there, so I'll stop now.

The Bad

-In case anyone needs to review, we lost by 40 the last time we played these guys. Which means that on some nights, they can be a lot better than us. A whole lot better than us. They dismantled us once, which means there's the chance they can do it again. In other words, the Lakers are still a very, very dangerous basketball team.

-Who knows what kind of psychological effects Game 5 had on the Rockets. I'm mentally scarred myself and all I did was watch the game, so I don't even want to think about how the players feel. Losing like that can be deflating. It can be will-breaking. In can be spirit-crushing. It can be a lot other things that involve some combination of a synonym for hope, a dash, and synonym for destroying.

-Ron Artest has had two "Hey, Yao, Mcgrady and I are the three best players on this team. Mcgrady is out, and now Yao is out. Which means...I'm the best player we have left?" games in a row, which is a bad sign. He needs to understand that we need him to play within the offense and maintain the flow of the game for us to have a chance.

-There's a small chance that Brian Cook might actually touch the floor. Which should never be possible in an NBA basketball game. Unless DJ Mbenga is also playing.

The Ugly

A battle between DJ Mbenga's (L) and Brian Cook's (R) ears would be a treat for NBA fans all over the world, but punishment for anyone with vision. Things just keep getting better and better for those damn blind people.

What Has to Happen

-This may seem like I'm taking the easy way out, but the Rockets' offense needs to show up. As I've said on multiple occasions before, our offense is our "go-to-guy" in the attempt at pregnancy that is a basketball game. So the Little Rocket (I like this one) needs to come up big.

-Aaron Brooks needs to be on fire from the beginning. And Luis Scola needs to play like he played from November-April, not like he has in the playoffs. Brooks needs to continue to get in the paint and run circles around the Lakers' big men and Scola needs to start shooting his midrange jumper before I start to shoot it for him. I'm not sure what that threat exactly meant, but it sounded manly and I just went with it. But for us to have a shot tonight, both Scola and Brooks need to have big games.

-The energy that has become as much a part of the Rockets' game as anything has to be present from the very beginning. Somehow, some way, the Rockets need to get motivated for Game 6, and that means forgetting about Game 5. In order for us to play our best tonight, we are going to have to move past Tuesday night. Once we get it out of our heads, we should be able to play the hustling, disrupting, frustrating defense that we're used to playing, and that effort should carry over to the offensive end.


The Point

We win tonight, we get another chance. We lose, our offseason begins. It doesn't get any simpler than that. And if nothing else, I want the Rockets to win so that I don't have to sit around for another month watching other teams play basketball. But there's plenty else. For starters, I really don't like the Lakers. If they're going to win, I want us to make sure we make it as hard as we can on them. And of course, I really, really like the Rockets. More than I dislike the Lakers. And even though it happens for 29 out of the NBA's 30 teams, watching your season end on a loss is always painful. You dwell on it, wonder what could have changed, and in our case, wonder why injuries always strike us at the worst possible time. And I would like to postpone that feeling for as long as I possibly can. On a lighter note, nothing is more exciting than an underdog beating a heavy favorite multiple times. If it happens once, it's a wake up call for the favorite. If it happens twice, the favorite has some concentration issues. If it happens three times, maybe the underdog isn't as much of an underdog as we all thought. I want nothing more than for us to push the Lakers one more time, to make them question their team, coaching, and heart once again. To leave the rest of the world asking each other what the hell just happened. To make me proud to love this team, even if it's for the last time this year. Now that that's all out of the way, I'll leave you with this. It's not much. It's actually just two words. But those two words can be oh-so powerful when you realize how much thought, emotion, influence, and meaning they have. When you realize that 18,000 people are going to be saying those words with you tonight. When you realize that deep down, there's no better, simpler way to explain how you feel. You probably already know what those two words are, which means you probably already know that I'm going to say them anyway. Go Rockets